Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
