Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
