I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Can Purell be used as lube?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize