If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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