Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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