you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize