feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
