Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Everything about him screamed your future.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
