Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize