That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
