And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
