i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize