Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
