By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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