oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
