Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
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Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
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They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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