i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
