I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
