how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just cropdusted the office
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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