We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Sext me about skeletons
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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