Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
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