Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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