I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
