I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize