3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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