If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
wow bdsm is so cute
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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