I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize