So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
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