glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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