Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
