I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Everything about him screamed your future.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
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