idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
