I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
