i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
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