I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
