Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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