i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
