it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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