there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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