Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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