my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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