I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
