so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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