I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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