So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
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Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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