I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize