It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
