Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
