This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
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my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
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I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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