why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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