what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
tell me about the eggs
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize