I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
