yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Send help, water and tortillas.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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