shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He is an equal opportunity slut.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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