you guys were way drunker than both of me
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
