it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
