i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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