Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
