she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
